January 25, 2009

Can You Please Entertain?

Hmm. School started. I don't know if it's because I've been out of school for the past three years, but I can't seem to settle, and when I try I get freaked out about math or what supplies I need for art. I mean, math I know I probably need a tutor now so that I won't screw my self as the semester goes, but art? It's art, I know, "art is just finger painting and stick figures" yeah, I thought that too. But when you've never really taken an actual art class since elementary school it's a little difficult to find the supplies that the teacher wants, she says "you'll need more supplies through out the semester, but bring the essentials on Monday" and I say "what are the essentials on Monday?" she says "they're on the syllabus" I look at the syllabus and there's a shit ton of supplies I have to get, I'm worried about the cost of these supplies and she also said I don't have to get them all for monday, but when? And what the hell are the essential, the basics for art? Pencil? Pen? Markers? Paper? Scissors? Ruler? Glue? For all I know the basics could be something like a canvas, glitter, paint, and a drawing pencil. Like what is going on, I don't know if I'm making this situation more difficult because I mean... seriously? It's just art. Art is fun, it's not stick figures or finger painting anymore, I know, it's more, but I'm a creative person, I shouldn't be freaking out. Ugh. But I am, and Math can suck my... you know. I'll get through with an A or B.. I don't think a C, D, or F will do me any good. Fuck, I have to go to work. Bye!

January 5, 2009

I'm Trouble

New Years Resolution:

1. Be more organized - Have a cleaner room. When everything is in it's place life seems to feel easier. I feel like I have a clear mind when I sleep. Feeling organized at work, school, money is just so much better than worrying if I'm gonna go in debt, or wondering how many spiders are in my room, or worrying about a big homework assignment. It takes most of the worry away and thus I can think of other, more important things in life.

2. Be more independent - Not count on my boyfriend to do things for me, not count on my mom to settle down business, I need to cut the chords and go on my own. It's 2009, I'm 20 years old, I need to get on my own road. That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop talking to my mom and break-up with my boyfriend, this just means that I can't always get babied by my mom, and I can't kill my self worrying if my boyfriend is cheating, or if he's doing anything terrible. I need to not care so much, because when I do, I end up ignoring friends, and end just beating my self for being jealous and weird.

3. Carpe Diem - Yes. I know what you're probably thinking; "thats really cheesy"... but I don't care. It's 2009, I'm 20 years old, and the coolest thing I've done so far was go alone to San Francisco with my cousins.... like 8 years ago. It's time to start living life! Stop complaining, it's not gonna help the situation. Stop talking about living life and actually do it! I may have boundaries, but that doesn't mean I can't have a good time every single day. I want to have a post it note on my bag that says "live life" or something really cheesy and inspiring like that... it's not that much of a big deal to tattoo it on my self...

4. Not care about YT so much - Tats right. It's just a website. It's just subscribers. It's just like myspace. You think subscribers are gonna matter in college? Nope. You think my teachers are gonna care how many views I get on a video? Nope. You think just because I get 1,000 views in a video my mom is gonna get me something awesome? Nope. So I need to not care so much, I love YT and all the people it's introduced me to, all the things it's taught me, but it's taking over my life, and I need to stop it from becoming my life before it's too late.

5. Save up money - When I move out I wanna have at least some emergency money with, with the economy so shitty now a days, it's important to have emergency money... You never know what will happen. I might end up losing my job! I don't want to think of losing my job, but you never know, so having back up money to pay rent, etc. etc. is a good idea.